To overcome the fear of loneliness it is essential that you stop looking for new relationships in a desperate way, as they will not consolidate in a healthy base
Have you gone through several breakups and believe that your love is not? Did the people you thought were your friends in the end have moved away? Have you reached a point where loneliness seems your destiny? These are situations that we all go through. However, if your previous experiences are generating fear of loneliness, put the following tips into practice.
1. Stop criticizing yourself
The first step to fighting your fear of loneliness is to understand how you look. To do this, give an honest look at the times you miss each day. Do you say things like you’re insignificant, that you’re a bad person, and that you’re too old or too young?
- If you talk to yourself in this way, your mood stays negative all the time and you are conditioned to remain in solitude.
Remember that what you say has a direct impact on how you feel. It is as simple as that, if you program to think good things, you will impel yourself to feel good.
If you are doing this, it is time for you to learn to be kinder to yourself. If someone in the past criticized you, abused you in some way or made you feel guilty, stop giving you control over your life.
The problem is that you made an error that you still do not forgive? Well it’s about time you shut up that voice that criticizes you, because you’re still a valuable person despite your failures and you have to believe it.
2. Feel good about yourself
Increasing your confidence and self-esteem is vital to combat your fear of loneliness. Think that if you are not able to see the good in you and love your qualities, hardly others can do it. The way we see ourselves defines how we behave and the image we project.
Therefore, if all the time you focus on your faults and you notice the less graceful aspects of you that is what others will see. The more you love yourself, the more people will be convinced of how good and nice you are.
3. Accept that you have something good to offer
What are your greatest qualities? Are you a sensitive, hard-working and honest person? Are you always willing to help others? Are you someone that others can trust? It is possible that you have some of these qualities and many others.
To combat your fear of loneliness, start by looking for people who admire those qualities and with whom you can share them. This does not necessarily mean that you look for a partner.
Focus your attention on finding like-minded people who complement you and with whom you feel identified or identified. Remember that having friends is vital to everything. After friendships, love usually comes, but do not obsess about finding it.
4. Change your ideas about the opposite sex
It is common to find people who have misconceptions about the opposite sex. This may be because you had a bad experience that made you distrust. Do you usually think similar things to the following phrases?
- All men are louts.
- Women are interested.
- Men are only interested in sex.
- Women are too emotional.
- You cannot trust men.
- All women are gold diggers.
- The good ones are already paired.
All these ideas are wrong, because both men and women seek lasting relationships at some point in our lives. It is true that there are some negative examples, but that is not exclusive of any sex.
When you keep these thoughts about love relationships, it will be difficult to fight your fear of loneliness, because you will think that there is nobody for you. The reality is that there is a world of valuable people out there: you just need to give yourself the opportunity to know them.
5. Change the way you see your fear of loneliness
Do you feel envious of those groups of friends who go together everywhere? Do you die of sadness every time you have a happy couple with children nearby? Ask yourself if the problem is really loneliness or social pressure that makes you feel like you should have one or another thing in your life.
When you let yourself be carried away by the expectations of others, being single or having few friends can seem like a big failure when in reality it is not.
In case you feel this way, keep in mind that you are worth the same thing that accompanied. The most important thing is that you do not have to enter into a relationship, of any kind, just to meet the expectations of someone else.
6. Focus on what you have
To overcome the fear of loneliness you need to stop acting desperately to get new relationships. Surely you have friends and family who care about you, so value them even if they are not perfect.
He thinks that few will be interested in approaching someone who despises what he has. Also, once you have made new friends, they need to feel that you love them and value them as they are.
That is, if you work hard to establish new relationships but then do not strengthen them, the progress made will not be of any use.