Tantrums are part of the emotional development of children. They begin to feel emotions that they do not know and that they still cannot control. You can help your children by avoiding the situations that trigger them.
From 2 years to 5 years, any child can live a tantrum. That outburst of anger and frustration that surpasses him and that fills us with guilt and questions to parents. But it is possible to avoid the tantrums of children by taking some precautions.
The ideal is to avoid situations that trigger the tantrums of children. Sometimes it will be feasible, sometimes not so much. In any case, do not despair. Keeping calm is the key.
The 5 key tips to avoid tantrums of children
The tantrums of children are the result of their emotional development. Children begin to feel, recognize and manifest emotions such as anger, anger or frustration. Later they will be able to control them but, at such an early age, they still need to be able to better manage these emotions.
After 2 years, the child also begins to feel autonomous. He has realized that what he wants does not always coincide with what his parents want. The tantrums arise precisely because they want to impose their newly released “will”, putting parents to the test.
Third, we must understand that tantrums are more frequent in some children than in others. Each child has his temperament, which will surely mark how he behaves in the face of the emotions he feels. Even among brothers raised in the same way there can be more tantrums in one child than in another.
From the understanding of these three fundamental variables, we leave you these 5 basic tips to avoid tantrums. We hope you can put them into practice before that “gale” of conflicting emotions erupts.
1. Avoid challenging in unnecessary aspects
There are things that “you have to do” or “you do not have to do”. It is like that. But evaluate if it is necessary to do or not do “that” at that precise moment. Maybe you can let him “have control “for a few minutes, and then do or not do what is necessary.
For example: it is winter and you have to take your coat. The child refuses. If you can still wait a few minutes before closing the coat, why are you going to press him to close it once? When cornered he explodes because he has no options. Let it “decide” for a few minutes that you do not button it. Then, when it is imperious and feels the cold, you close it.
2. Anticipate frustrating situations
If you have a long day of diligence to which your child should accompany you, prepare yourself. Take toys, water, some snack. In a long journey away from home, fatigue and doing something that is not attractive for the child, will generate discomfort that can lead to tantrum.
If you are doing something you like, such as being in the park, but it’s time to leave, let him know in advance that it will be time to leave soon. You do not have to take it by surprise with an abrupt departure.
Sometimes, we cause tantrums because we subject children to unnecessary stress, situations they do not understand or dislike. We have to wait for the explosion of the tantrum to realize that it was a completely predictable situation.
3. Doses the use of “no”
The continuous use of “no” by parents is the cause of many tantrums. The refusal of the parents causes rebellion. Evaluate when you can say “yes”. It also evaluates when instead of saying “no”, you can offer an acceptable alternative for the child.
Of course, there are “no” that are unquestionable. If the child is going to introduce a metal object into an electrical outlet, the “no” is non-negotiable. But they are not always so extreme situations. Evaluate which are the moments when you can yield to one of your orders.
4. Establish clear and reasonable limits
Long before the tantrums of the children erupt, when everything is calm, it is necessary to establish which are the limits that children must respect and which ones must learn to adapt.
Just as you cannot control everything the child does, try, play or dress, as over-control curtails their desire to experiment with their independence, nor can they be raised with excessive freedom. Children should know that there are limits that cannot be transferred without consequences.
5. Procure your physical well-being
Although tantrums are emotional outbursts, they can be caused by physical discomforts. A child who missed his lunch or nap time may explode in a tantrum because he does not know how to handle or communicate the physical discomfort that afflicts him.
For this, the routines are your allies. Try to respect the schedules for naps, meals, snacks or bathrooms. That regularity gives your child security and gives him the rest and satisfaction necessary so that tantrums do not break out for these reasons.
When the tantrum erupts
Despite having followed all these recommendations, a tantrum began. Before the emotional outbreak, the first thing you should do is stay calm. If you get upset, you will not help your child.
In general, tantrums even surprise children by overflowing energy. So here it is important that, being calm, help him not to hurt himself or to attack others. Your son needs you to find tranquility again.
Talk to him slowly and in a very low tone. Explain what is happening, what is your position and invite him to calm down. Avoid giving in to what you ask for, because you will give the wrong message that with tantrums you can get what you want.
If you are in a public place, someone will tell you to ignore your child or even punish him physically. We reiterate: tantrums are situations that overflow. The best thing you can do is get away from this type of opinion.
Ignoring or hitting your child in the middle of a tantrum does not help him at all. You only teach him to suppress his emotions, which always has terrible consequences. Your son needs you to find calm, do not deny him your love and your hug.
