Well, you did it. He graduated from the university, college, school – anything from what is the forerunner of adult life. Now you have a wide world of opportunities where you can finally manage your life as you wish. This is at least the first thing you can think about. But in fact, between the stresses of adulthood, problems at work and other trials that we face regularly, it is not always possible to do everything in our own way. Instead of resisting rough waves, you can take the path of least resistance and go with the flow. But it will further alienate you from the direction that you should follow.
Float hard, but necessary. Life is very tough, but this does not mean that it can not be subjugated. When you feel lost, there are five important commitments that will help you focus on what really matters and become who you always wanted to be.
1. The promise to find time to think.
You will need it. No matter how much you want to think of yourself as a simple person, the truth is that each of us is a tangled set of experiences, instincts, hopes, fears and passions. At any moment in our minds thousands of conflicting thoughts and feelings flash, forming and directing every moment of our life. Despite this, most of us simply stumble over life circumstances, not understanding why we sometimes make this or that choice. And in such moments, it remains only bewildered to shrug and hope for the best.
But hope can only be where there is action. And to accomplish these actions there must be something like a guidebook, instructions, following which the chances of success will increase. Time to unpack your own thoughts and feelings gives you a very important opportunity to truly understand yourself and what helps you move forward or, conversely, pulls back. When you can objectively analyze your problems and fears, you will find their reason and way to overcome them. Therefore, it is very important to make pauses at times to give yourself the opportunity for reflection. You will not be able to come to a better image of yourself until you understand what it is all about.
2. The promise of being ready for your chance
If everything you dream about happened to you right now, would you be ready for it? If today you were offered your dream job with an eight-digit income? If today you met the girl whose image seemed perfect to you at the bus stop or in the store queue? The reality is that by scrutinizing our dream, we sometimes do not notice the opportunities that fate generously sends us. If such chances fall to us, rusting from inaction, we reject them, telling ourselves that we need to start with something small, and not with what we actually want. And it is even worse than the usual loss – it is a betrayal.
3. The promise to expand the concept of masculinity
If you ask you to portray the most courageous people, what images appear in your head? Perhaps it is a muscle-paved figure with a piercing gaze and a voice that alone can disarm a platoon of soldiers like a Schwarzeneger commando. Perhaps this is a charismatic savior of the world and a seducer of women, such as James Bond. Or simply the classic “bad guy” who lives by his own rules, takes what he wants, doesn’t worry about anything and doesn’t know the words “excuse me” or “please.” All these images are certainly attractive, but too much of a textbook. Life is much less prosaic, and therefore the concept of masculinity goes far beyond the designated framework of well-known film images.
A person who works in three jobs to feed his family, is it less courageous? A surgeon who saves more lives a year than the average special forces fighter doesn’t he deserve to be called a hero? Despite all the prevailing ideas about courage, its definition goes far beyond the clearly expressed features of masculinity and is expressed, above all, by relevant and important virtues: intelligence, honesty, kindness, hard work and nobility. In more detail about classical and modern criteria of masculinity you can read here.
4. Promise to leave when the time comes
This may seem unreasonable, but sometimes it is necessary to abandon what you were striving for with such zeal. You can try on a job in which customers drink your brain every day to the ground, the boss is the prototype of the most vile asshole in the world, and the number of digits is more like the pin-code of your bank card. Yes, this job feeds you, and maybe your family. But think about the benefits that you will receive in the long term. If after a couple of years you feel morally depleted, then in the end there is a risk of losing everything that you worked for.
Or maybe you are in a relationship that has long ceased to resemble what you had dreamed of before meeting this girl. Yes, sometimes it is shameful to abandon what has been lined up for a long time. But it is even worse to remain in a relationship solely for the sake of a relationship. Only because the prospect of being alone is more terrible for you than the painful finding with a person. Often, suffering for a person seems much easier than trying to change something. If you catch yourself on this thought, you must determine what is more important for you: to continue to destroy your life by inaction or striving for development.
5. The promise to try again and again
With all our great efforts and noble intentions, we ultimately can not reach the high standards that we set ourselves. But we have told you many times already and we say again: there is nothing terrible in it. Failure is a fact of life. Your task is to make sure that it does not destroy the ability to try again.
But this guarantees only a false sense of security. In fact, everything is much more complicated. Whether you want it or not, sooner or later you will face failure. The only question is how do you react to it: will you consider a signal of retreat or a challenge for a new attempt. And the only unforgivable mistake you can make in your life is the choice of the first option.