To overcome the traumas of the past we can resort to the help of a psychologist to help us see problems objectively and manage them in the best way possible.
Some people have had to go through the hard trance of experiencing a difficult childhood. Perhaps, they have lived in a dysfunctional environment, with caregivers who maintained a toxic relationship or who did not know how to provide the secure attachment they so badly needed.
The problem of everything experienced in childhood is that it is not forgotten. Over the years we can believe that yes, but it is in adulthood when all the traumas, fears, insecurities and problems arise.
It is, then, when we have to look to the past and start thinking about overcoming that difficult childhood that we have, until now, dragged with us.
How to overcome a difficult childhood: 5 keys
1. Stop trying to look guilty
When we think that we have had a difficult childhood, our tendency is to start looking guilty. Our parents? Cousins? Grandparents? An uncle? The list can be long; however, blaming will not give us any solution.
Although at that time in our lives we have not been able to make any decision about it, today, in adulthood, we are responsible for our lives. Blaming others will not help us, because the people who were part of our environment did the best they could.
2. Stay away from those who still hurt you today
The family is something very important for all of us, however, this does not mean that within this area there are no toxic people.
If the fact of having had a difficult childhood has been the result of a toxic relationship in which one of our parents manipulated, assaulted and mistreated verbally , we have to see how he acted with us and yes even today is his way of proceeding.
In the event that the answer is affirmative, what do we do keeping that person in our life? The family is made up of those people we choose, who make us well. It is better to keep the distance with who we know will revive that difficult childhood that we have had.
3. Break obsessive thoughts
Lamenting and reliving the past over and over again is a mechanism that tortures many people. Therefore, keeping busy, doing things that we like and, in short, putting us into action, will help us to be more present.
The past has already happened and it is useless to waste our present with thoughts that are no longer part of the now.
4. Go to a psychology professional
The past is a very powerful weapon that can make life impossible for us, especially when we have had a difficult childhood. Overcoming everything experienced in this stage may seem unattainable. However, a psychologist can help us.
We can choose the psychologist who practices the type of therapy with which we feel more comfortable: cognitive-behavioral, gestalt, brief, transpersonal, etc.
The psychologist will help us to see how all our current problems have been conceived in the past, to see them objectively and to give us the tools to get rid of all this and help us in our emotional management.
5. Start taking care of you
The lamentations, the pessimism, being unable to see a way out, can lead us to feel unworthy of living a happy and full life.
The usual after a difficult childhood is that we suffer from low self-esteem. That is why it is important that we learn to feel worthy of giving ourselves love, of giving ourselves things, of wishing us the best.
Although for a long time we have sought all this abroad, what have we achieved? Have we felt better? The answer is “no”, and it is totally normal. Because we cannot look abroad for what we ourselves do not know how to give.
Although at first we do not feel like it, that we feel certain reluctance to take action, forcing us to do so will have very positive consequences for us. Total, to try … we lose nothing.
Have you had a difficult childhood? Do the experiences you have experienced still torment you? L keys as mentioned can help you close the door to the past, learn from what’s behind you and move on with your life. Because, remember, now you are responsible.